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Posts Tagged ‘Destroy family


Here is the big picture of divorce epidemic in the Indian sub-continent. Though the numbers may not seem alarming to western readers this is indeed a whopping number for Indians. If not checked immediately this is going to grow exponentially and will destroy the foundation of a great nation which has over 10000 years of continuous heritage to claim. Solution is simple… stick to the roots, be who you are…. stick to the principles; as opposed to being copycats.

Satyam vada (Speak the truth.)
Dharmam Chara (Practice righteous dharmam)
Ahimsa paramo dharmam (Non-violence greatest dharmam)
Satyameva jayathe (Truth alone Triumphs)
Matru Devo Bhava (Consider your Mother as a form of God)
Pitru Devo Bhava (Consider your Father as a form of God)
Athithi Devo Bhava Consider your Guests as a form of God)

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Caution Loose Women Ahead

Caution Loose Women Ahead

I, Prassoon Suryadas, plays only a role of translator in this article. The original article is written in Malayalam by Jyothi Sunil and published in Mathrubhumi daily.

An intimation has been given to the editor of mathrubhumi about this translation. If the tone and taste of the original article is misplaced during the translation, that is unintentional and will be rectified upon request.

It is the age of counting and tabulating sexual offenses. What is going wrong with people, not only women but also children are getting targeted to satisfy carnal greed. The hands of lust and crime get extended towards women in buses, trains and everywhere. The stories of offenders are celebrated in TV channels and news papers in a colorful manner. It has become a common trend to even inflate trivial incidents, like a nod or sitting next to a woman, and publish experiences of so called victims to paint the entire male population as criminals. This is the strange age of portraying all men as ‘hunters’ and women as their ‘preys’. Such incidents are increasing on a daily basis like never before.

Up until the beginning of this century, ‘harassment’ was not a word that was considered as harmful as it is today. Making people work overtime forcefully, not paying salary etc were the common definitions of harassment that we heard earlier in those days. But now, all of a sudden this word become a villain.

Later on, there has been a shift in the definition of this word into ‘Satanic deeds, both hidden and in open, of hyper-sexual men‘. Now harassment has become a common word to express this and even to describe incidents that doesn’t have the merits and ingredients of sexual harassment. Even petty eve teasers whom we can discipline by a sharp counter comment are getting portrayed as big assaulter to add fuel into the fire. Heroines of such stories were glamorized as super angels and men gets portrayed as hyper evil. Criminal cases are lodged and men gets defamed simply based on sole testimony of women; social status of his entire family gets irretrievably sabotaged, some get punished, some commit suicide.

These petty issues can be easily solved by being responsive and by having a little bit of guts. It has become so common now to criminalize, defame and bring big punishment to men just for a tiny touch, for winking or for showing bodily gestures. It could be a foolish move at the heat of the moment, but fearing the defamation if a man commit suicide, based on which law can we punish that woman? When people travel together in trains, buses, planes or in busy streets it is possible to touch, brush or stare at each other. Those women are recommended to restrain from drumming it up and make a mountain out of mole hill. If the matter is silly enough to sort it out by themselves isn’t it wise to do so, as opposed to putting foot in their own mouth. Is it necessary to file a law suit for silly things and run around the courts bragging about modesty? Before crying rape or harassment it is wise to pay attention to the future of the accused as well, they do not have any opportunity to give explanation, they are getting punished just based on the sole testimony of a woman.

I’m a person who run my own venture outside Kerala for about two decades. I used to travel alone in buses and trains during day time and in night as well. I’m a kind of person who instantaneously responds to such approaches made by men. First I respectfully ask them to move their hands, or to move themselves or to stop the conversation. If that fails then I tell them affirmatively; and that’s it. Never had any problem after that, in my experience. Even now I am not scared to travel anywhere. I am confident enough to respectfully deal with any sort of assaulter. If you want you can yell at them, that’s the second option; if the problem is not getting resolved I’m even up to slapping them with the sandels. But in my life time I never had to go to that extent. Because I got a feeling that, if we are responsive to the initial moves of assaulter then 90% of them immediately back off.

There may be people who are consciously luring women and forcefully try to outrage her modesty; I would call them perverts, alcoholics or drug addicts. They might be taking these extreme steps when they feel high on drugs or alcohol. There are some others who carefully plan and trap the victim. I don’t think there will be any difference in opinion to give stringent punishment to those who do such heinous crime. Even capital punishment is way too simple penalty for offenders as in Soumya murder case. I just cannot agree to the trend of inflating silly issues which can easily be sorted out in the first place, had those women handled the situation little more boldly.

Historically, film industry used to be the zone of harassment for women. Those who jump into that field used to get exploited by many, in order to get small roles and some even find path to heroines as well. I’ve heard of such stories from many kins. Here also the criteria for harassment are classified in to two. One party is willing to get exploited in return of a good role in the movie and the other party is willing to give good role to those who are willing to give away their modesty. A Win-Win scenario, there was no complaints from both the parties. But as film industry moved from Kodambaakam to Kerala, things started changing. Now a days we do not here such stories anymore. But that doesn’t mean this willful and bilateral exploitation cease to exist. However, to my knowledge, there has been a greater control and discipline in that sector which raised the level of respect to that field and thereby people from good family background and having good education started choosing their profession in film field.

Those who are seeking a chance in the movie and associated field are making a conscious decision by considering the hidden traps involved in it. Some move on even if they get trapped; makes more money and opportunities. In most industries there are people who are willing to compromise something for more comfort and luxury. Some of them easily succumb to temptations too. No matter whatever the reasons are, once the opportunities are utilized after making compromises and then at a later point when the secrets are out these people act like innocents by crying rape. Those who consciously seek pleasure under the cover of darkness, wear the mask of innocent victims when the light turns up. When this happens, everyone points their finger to the man and the woman easily step back behind the facade of great sati savitry and gathers all sympathy.

These kind of women are not ‘abalas’, they are ‘tabalas’; anyone can play it, only thing is when the tune goes odd, it will becomes rape. No one bothers to ask the woman that “did you intimate us while you find your own way to happiness?” Instead of that, they go in front of the cameras and microphones to abuse the man in question and the entire male population to prove themselves guilt free. We can find these ingredients in most of the rape stories in Kerala. Here the girl stays with many people in hotels and other resorts for several days. They stay in Mumbai or Hyderabad or Chennai or other places and do their business. They travel along with their ‘preys’ to different places. Gain enough and more money for the pleasure they provide. In some cases, they get help to reach these centers even from their close relatives like father brother and friends. But, after a long period of business when the matter goes out in public, in one way or the other, they file cases against everyone who utilized her service. Even here, the sole testimony of the woman is what getting counted. No one bothers about why this woman choose that way of life or about her background. She wasn’t blind folded or hands and legs tied when she was staying in these different hotels and resorts for several days. She happily cooperated and made enough money those days. Even when she was consciously traveling with everyone and selling herself as a product, all the consumers of that product become criminals base on her sole testimony! As if in trance, she utters several names, they all become accused in the law suit. In one of the infamous case in Kerala, the woman accused over 150 people. No one bothers to find the logic behind this accusation, neither they bother to double check the involvement of her family in this. Only the woman become innocent and every other person in the accused list are painted as hard core sex offenders. Their social, family and personal life gets sabotaged.

There should be change in the way of women wearing jeans that clearly shows the division of buttock, wearing skin tight dresses, not wearing bra or wearing those that do not serve the purpose of a bra and making it bounce and dance on the streets, or making it artificially projected. Women should cover the parts that needs to be covered and should not make those parts a tattoo gallery. We would have avoided a lot of harassment cases, had those women quit wearing skin tight or less dresses in the name of fashion; wouldn’t we? Isn’t the way of dressing a temptation for the offenders?

There had been ‘apsaras’ who danced half nude to break the meditation of great saints. Now its a whole different version of the same, by showing off the naval and uncovering style of dressing; a way of exhibition. It sends out the signal that, “we will show all these; if you watch it or get excited we will make you punished”. So, men beware. Its not the girls who do this are getting mad by saying this; its some radical feminists. They claim that no one should question the freedom of woman’s right to wear whatever they want and such inappropriate dressing will not make any temptation and all these arguments are baseless. I feel pity on them. We all have seen how serious they took the comment of the chairperson of National Commission for Women, “its okay to call women ‘sexy’” and come out to protest. I got a feeling that there will be drastic change in the meaning of the word ‘sexy’, the same way as what happened for the word ‘harassment’. There was big hue and cry in Tamilnadu when actress Khusbu mentioned that no one should question what happened in the life of a woman before marriage. In a nutshell what worries them more is the discussion, not the actual deed that leads to the discussion.

Apparently, those who get tempted and get harassed are both men. There is no bias to a monk, priest, legislator or a social worker when it comes to the matter of placing on the pedestal of harassment, its always men. Without considering the limits of the income, husbands are forced to take more loans and are getting pushed to the edge of suicide to buy more home appliances and other luxuries so as to match or show off among neighbors friends and relatives. Aren’t such men indeed harassed, who are simply attempting to satisfy their wives? Isn’t this a kind of domestic violence that men faces? When money and comfort flows with no obstacles and if unfortunately that flow stops, then he becomes a villain at once and gets prosecuted.

The violence and harassment that men faces are always priced very low or nil. Wives who drag their paramours without the knowledge of their husband; women who attempt secret intercourse with young paramours even after having kids and family, in the end they ditch their husbands and kids and run away with their young paramours for temporary pleasure. In all these cases the one who gets prosecuted are only the men. Isn’t that harassment of a husband when he gets socially humiliated and ridiculed for his wife’s affair with another man? Here as well, women never gets accused, everyone gives her the security of modesty. There are women who are capable of killing even the prime minister of a country using bomb. When she gets pregnant in the jail she is entitled to special privileges as a woman and is granted with appropriate treatment. When it comes to men, just because he cant get pregnant he has to count days for the capital punishment.

It is not appropriate for women to simply ask for equality just by claiming as the significant other half of men; punishment and legal processes should also be equal. We have heard a lot about what women are going through with domestic violence. But, does anyone ever take it on face value about the domestic violence that men face other than as a joke?

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First of all, I would like to show my sincere gratitude to all of them who supported this cause and spent their valuable time to sign the online petition. Even though the press complaints council website says that they do not entertain third party complaint, it is the success of our collective effort to be able to become a silent party in the case. I’m glad to let you know that Dr. Kalind took the SIF inoculation for the feminazi virus and jumped into this fight with all the vigor and spirit, as any person having the sense of justice would’ve obviously done. Here is the entire communication thread for your reference… (in continuation of original complaint) I hope this may help you in your future fight against MISANDRY

[PCC]

Thank you for your email.

Having conducted a search for the article in question, it appears that it is no longer available on the newspaper’s website.  I would be grateful to know whether you are happy for us to close your complaint on this basis?

[prassoon]

I sincerely believe that the damage has already been made, after having the article exposed to the public for over a week. Now the question that I set forth before the honorable Press Complaints Council is to decide whether or not to take any action against the wrong doers, if it believe so, so as to prevent such mistakes in the future.

Hence, with all due respect, let me express my unwillingness to close the complaint; and also I would like to take this opportunity to let the council know how eager I am, to hear the verdict.

[PCC]

Thank you for sending the attachment. For the avoidance of any doubt, can you confirm your connection to the story.

[prassoon]

Thanks a lot. I am a reader who got fooled by the article.

[PCC]

Thank you for clarifying your position.

The concerns you have raised relate directly to Kaveri Kapoor Parashar and Kaling Parashar, the subjects of the story. Given the nature of the story – which relates to the circumstances of their marriage and significant allegations of abuse by Mrs Parashar – it appears that it would be difficult for the Commission to investigate or understand this matter fully without the involvement of one of the parties. In addition, the outcome of a Commission investigation (whether correction, apology or adjudication, for example) would need the approval of the relevant party. In such circumstances, we would generally require a complaint from Mr or Mrs Parashar, or a representative, in order to take the matter forward.

However, if you believe that there are exceptional public interest reasons for the Commission to proceed with an independent complaint under the circumstances, we would be grateful to hear from you in the next ten days.

Once we have heard from you, the Commission will be asked whether it wishes to take the complaint forward. If you would like to discuss your case before replying please do contact us.  If we hear no more from you we will close our file on the matter.

If, at the end of the process, you are dissatisfied with the manner in which your complaint has been handled, you should write within one month to the Independent Reviewer who will investigate the matter and report any findings and recommendations to the Commission. For further details please use the following link:

http://www.pcc.org.uk/about/whoswho/independentreview.html

[prassoon]

I understand the limitations of the Commission and the practical difficulties of handling international disputes. My sincere gratitude for giving me an opportunity to provide further deliberation. In my humble attempt to show the exceptional public interest in the said news article I would like to submit before the Commission the following reports

I strongly believe, the widespread misandry and glamorization of false allegations without even giving a tiny bit of benefit of doubt, result in war against spouses. Irresponsibly written news articles like this, upon which the complaint is filed, amplifies baseless allegations even before a just and fair investigation is completed, generates gender hatred on a mass scale; most of those become a prime reason for skyrocketing suicides. By acting promptly with a complaint and pulling down the news article, may be I have saved one life, may be more.

Inviting public support towards this cause, I have posted an online petition showing the questions that I’m raising before the PCC. Please find this online petition signatures here http://www.change.org/petitions/demanding-stringen-action-against-misandrist-neethu-chandra-daily-mail-press-complaints-council-uk-please-take-action .

I pray before the Press Complaints Commission to consider this petition as having exceptional public interest based on the overwhelming public support, and also by taking into account of around 11,54,000 suicides.

NB: If any of the urls are not working or not readable or if the Commission wish to get anymore details on any of the matter submitted by far, given a chance, I will be more than happy to address that.

[PCC]

Thank you for your further submission.

The Commission has now received a complaint about the article from one of the first parties to the matter and is investigating it with the newspaper.

Nonetheless, thank you for raising the matter with the Commission.

[prassoon]

Thank you Sir. Sorry to bother you with questions…. Does that mean my petition is dismissed or clubbed together?

[PCC]

Thank you for your email. We are investigating this with the party involved, so we will not be investigating your complaint separately, but we will endeavour to inform you of the outcome if possible. As you will understand, for reasons of confidentiality this is not always possible.

 

 

June 26, 2012 – Here is the final update: http://www.pcc.org.uk/case/resolved.html?article=Nzg5Mg==

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This is in response to Kalpana Sharma’s dung heap (If mothers and wives were paid) published by The Hindu on Sunday, Apr 03, 2011.

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With the burden of commercial work as well as domestic chores on their shoulders, men spend more time doing unpaid work for the family than women around the world…

Unrecognised contribution to the economy...

Unrecognised contribution to the economy...

All in a day’s work

Regardless of illness, tiresome, lack of interest, abusive boss or coworkers, millions of Indian men will have to work day in and day out in order to feed their families and look after children and elders financially medically socially and also to satisfy their entertainment needs. Such an invaluable contribution to the family has never been given a monetary value. No one knows what they contribute as they do a range of unpaid work — from household chores in the home after their routine job at workplace and running a small businesses to earn some extra bucks, to home-based work (that is not always paid), to helping out in a variety of tasks that they are expected to do only because they are men. Not even a single country has a monetary value been placed on such unpaid work.

No international organisations have ever come out with a study that looks at this issue: men’s unpaid work. Dr. Warren Farrell, author of “Myth of male power”, “Why men are the way they are”, “Why men earn more” etc takes a deeper dive into the amount of time men spends on unpaid work as compared to women.

Farrell found that men contribute more money to the family than women, at the same time women own more things than men do. Women have 4 options in life, 1) be a housewife 2) be a professional 3) do part time job 4) be occasional housewife where as the four options that are available for men are 1) work fulltime 2) work fulltime 3) work fulltime and 4) work fulltime. This is not surprising given that in practically all societies, men are expected to bear the maximum burden of formal as well as domestic work with women helping out if and when they can. Yet at the end of the day, it is the man who is automatically expected to take care of all the financial responsibilities, leaving kids at school, fixing broken stuffs etc; precisely, bringing home food shelter clothing and entertainment.

A current TV advertisement for insurance sums this up rather well. It shows a husband, obviously exhausted, working for his family who returns home and had a chest pain. The advertisement takes it for granted that the man should have taken insurance to protect his family EVEN AFTER HIS DEATH. There is nothing in the ad to indicate what the woman’s role in the family or her responsibility compared to her husband, one can well imagine. It would never have occurred to the woman to figure out a way of relieving her husband of this particular responsibility even if she is more educated or her earning potential is equal or more than her husband.

Huge differences

The ILO study found another element of concern, what the report calls a clear “gender gap” in working time. (http://www.ilo.org/global/about-the-ilo/press-and-media-centre/press-releases/lang–en/WCMS_082827) The study says men tend to work longer average hours than women worldwide, with women working shorter hours in almost every country studied. This is very true in Indian society. Women take advantage of employment at home and also take advantage of family at workplace. For example a typical Indian woman wants her husband to drop the kids off to school early morning as she wants to reach office on time because of an “important” meeting; at the same time she wants to leave the office early in the pretext of pick up the kids from school in the evening, handing over the critical responsibilities on male colleagues. And while the men work late, Indian wives and daughters spent time shopping, sleeping, eating, chatting with friends, watching television and relaxing.

Apart from the gender difference in time spent, the value of such unpaid work was not factored into economic calculations that assess a country’s development. “When we focus our binoculars only on discrimination, we miss opportunities available to women, such as the 80 fields (e.g., financial analysis, radiation therapy, statistics and most engineering fields) in which women now earn more than men” says Dr. Farrell who is the only man in the U.S. ever elected three times to the board of directors for the National Organization for Women in New York City

To many, this would appear to be a non-issue along with the issues that men face in terms of violence, inside and outside the home, many forms of discrimination, sexual harassment and assault etc which he has absolutely no available option of legal recourse. Yet, there is a good reason for assessing the extent of unpaid work men do, the gender gap between women and men on this count, and the value of their labour.

Quantifying the value

Men’s groups never advocated assessing the value of unpaid work until 27th march 2011 when they were forced (by the government of India) to come forward in large numbers sending memorandums to Law commission of India with regard to THE MARRIAGE LAWS (AMENDMENT) BILL, 2010. There is no world conference or even national level commission to address the issues of men and they remain as second class citizens even in this 21st century!

A strong reason for not putting a monetary value to such work is that it puts a price tag for human relations where everyone lives and dies for money minus all family and social values. In India, such women — and they are mostly women — who are well paid to advocate such absurd demands of putting price tag for housewives are reducing the value of motherhood and even womanhood. Setting a standard for the amount they should be paid for the kind of work they are expected to do is tantamount to reducing motherhood into a surrogacy; reducing nurturing care and love into a paid service. What is even more disappointing is that women, who is said to have good education and earn well in the formal sector, seems to have replaced all their moral, family and social values with M O N E Y, and they dance on the tunes of Rothschild’s International banking dynasty.

Gender assumptions

Ultimately, the issue is not the amount of time spent on unpaid work, or whether men should be paid for such work, but the expectation that they will do it unquestioningly and for all time to come. Surely, with so much changing around us, this is yet another arena where gender roles must be questioned; why would the physically easy and non-hazardous household work should also be shared with men after his regular and mandatory hours of job at risky and dangerous workplace, and where those who work silently to run millions of families around the world, should be given the honor, recognition and appreciation that they deserve.

 


Applications under Right To Information Act are finding great success in making the Government work faster and efficiently. Here is the circular issued by Director General of Police, Kerala, (after subsequent requests through RTI) with regard to compulsorily issuing a notice from 3rd November, 2010 onwards, as per Section 41A of CrPC Amendments 2008 and amended Section 41A of CrPC Amendments 2010.


Parliamentary Committee on the Ministry of Personnel, Public Grievances and Law and Justice, — headed by Congress Member of Parliament Jayanthi Natarajan has recommended marital property split to be added to protect the rights of women with respect to Hindu Marriage Act amendment. a.k.a THE MARRIAGE LAWS (AMENDMENT) BILL, 2010. I believe the said proposal needs an altogether different discussion than as part of the said bill. Apparently, it should be rephrased to “Marital Division” rather than “Marital PROPERTY division”. It is gross violation of natural justice to give wives a share of properties whereas husbands are left with the burden of all liabilities accumulated during the course of marriage. I hereby recommend to kindly consider the following points while drafting the new law regarding marital division.

  1. Assets as well as liabilities should be considered for marital division; where such a division of assets should be exactly proportionate to the monetary contribution made by the parties and division of liabilities should be exactly proportionate to the share of commitment towards the liabilities.
  2. If the demand for considering Wife’s contribution of time and energy to the family is to be counted, then Husband’s contribution of their time, energy and money towards the family should also be counted proportionately. It is a universal truth that a housewife spends her time inside the house and husband spends his time outside the house for bringing food shelter clothing and entertainment for entire family.
  3. If feminazis are asking to evaluate contribution of pregnancy, then sole custody should be granted to the Husband if she chooses to go with marital division and there should not arise any question of child support as well. Sole custody is child abuse so I personally DO NOT recommend this option.
    On the other hand if pregnancy is decided to be given a monetary value and husband has to pay that share, then he should be given his right to discuss and set that value before marriage through prenuptial agreement. Respective legislation should be brought in along with the said bill to give prenuptial agreement its legal validity.
  4. No marital division should be made if the marriage is shorter than the length defined in IPC 304(B).

    Section 113B of The Indian Evidence Act, 1872 forces the judiciary not to apply its mind and presume a person had caused the dowry death whenever such a question arises. In other words Indian justice system recognizes a person as husband only after the term defined in IPC 304(B), until then marriage is not solemnized and he is PRESUMED to be a dowry killer.
  5. Marital division and maintenance must be mutually exclusive.
  6. Child support and custody should be split equally (if pregnancy is not evaluated in marital division).
  7. Maintenance should be limited to the number of years of cohabitation.
  8. Maintenance should be calculated from 36% of spouse’s gross income less all monthly debt payments. (64% should be left for taxes and to lead a decent life; pushing a person to the streets just because s/he “committed” a marriage is against natural justice!).These figures are followed as a thumb rule by most banks as “debt-to-income ratio of 28/36”. This means that no more than 28 percent of your total monthly income (from all sources and before taxes) can go towards housing, and no more than 36 percent of your monthly income can go toward your total monthly debt. I humbly request to consider maintenance payment similar to debt payment.

Those who want to send this to Law Commission or your MPs can download this printer friendly file


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